Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize