it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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