What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
