a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
