If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is Oprah even human
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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