How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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