I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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