Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
