too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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