I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize