Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
love makes seman taste better
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
