Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think my fart just growled at me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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