come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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