I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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