Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
