I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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