being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
