shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize