yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
