Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
