Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize