tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
