I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
