Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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