Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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