Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
we should paint friendship bongs
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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