He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
