I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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