My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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