4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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