a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
