What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
