I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Randomize
