Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
