We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
