Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize