we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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