Pants 0. Shit 1.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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