I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
