This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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