Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize