Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize