but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
