32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
