I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize