i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
