After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
