Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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