its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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