Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
