Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
