He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
