never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
