I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
