I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
