Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
