check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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