Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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