I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sorry my hands just texted you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
