I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Floor bacon is actually really good
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
