haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
