No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
