Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
