Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
