I'm lost and stupid without you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you will always have a special place in my vag
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
