Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
