I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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